Just Writing (and saying hello)
I never thought I’d be longing to write one day. It’s been almost one and a half years since I graduated college, and I remember just being extremely burnt out by the end of it because all the writing I did by the end of it were on topics I wasn’t interested in. Writing somehow became a chore during college, and thus I escaped any form of unnecessary written expression (even just typing on the computer) after I exited my days of churning out endless research papers.
I’m not sure why I suddenly remembered today that I actually have a registered blog domain that I haven’t touched in ages, and just decided to start typing up a draft on my computer. I had sort of become disconnected to “idle” hobbies since I entered my job. I started measuring my time based on the productive or monetary value I can produce with my labor, and hence any time spent on wandering and being creative became an encumbrance on the strict, military execution of my daily schedule.
(How my desk looked when I wrote this blog post.)
The weather is getting chillier as autumn approaches, my birthday is coming up, and the year is ending… All this puts me in an introspective mood, making me a lot more curious to get in touch with myself. With all the feelings popping up in the corners of my stale “corporate jail” life, I realize that maybe it’s healthier to return to an avenue of expression and reconnect with a path of self discovery. Haha, I don’t know. I think people just can’t help but feel a little melancholic when autumn approaches, and I totally love that because my inner poet is being reignited somehow, and now I feel ready to sit in hipster cafes and write little poems LOL.
My intention for this blog is for it to just exist. I don’t like to have a very high threshold or expectation goal for whatever hobby project I’m doing. It just has to exist for the sake of me having a place to share my writings, and a system that supports me in pick up the habit of further self expression. As I finish my “freshman year” in the adult world, work life balance is something I am starting to consider. In my job for the past six months, we were constantly taking day trips to different cities, and I would return home past dinner time, not having the energy to enjoy a proper meal for myself. I guess I was very enthusiastic about making the most out of my time at work to learn and stretch my abilities as much as possible, but eventually I got to a breaking point where I felt very strained, and started feeling extremely burnt out and tired everyday. When almost every minute of your life becomes occupied by thoughts about work, you start to lose a healthy sense of self and start to derive validation only from the value you are able to provide to your company. Although I started writing today out of this random drive, I realize now that it’s my intuition bringing me to retrace my line of thoughts again, and start to draw a boundary between myself and the professional life I was so eager to build. Of course, as freshly grads we all want to thrive at our jobs, but creating that channel for our creative selves to co-exist with our professional identity is probably a more sustainable way to maintain long term growth.
This is starting to sound like a self-help rant lol. I haven’t thought much yet about what to share or what theme this blog is going to be about. All I know is that it’s going to be me, just me talking about stuff I’m learning or thinking about, maybe some trips and good food, nice clothes I’m enjoying & memories I don’t want to forget. I just needed a place to remind myself that life is full of fun and worth living. I’m sure everyone needs that too. The world is too much of a wonder to ignore.
with love,
Ingrid
